“What the hell am I doing”, “what on earth was I thinking” the thoughts just keep repeating over and over as I try and get some overdue shut-eye while trying to get comfortable in an Airbus A320 at 35,000 feet. I’m on the second leg of my journey, on a Qatar Air flight from Doha to Kathmandu.

I don’t even know where I’m staying – it’s a monastery somewhere in Kathmandu. My host is a Tibetan Buddhist Monk. He’s a Lama, a Teacher, a Guru. I’m not even sure how long I’m welcome for – maybe a week.

Beyond that I don’t have a plan.

I’m also filled with trepidation and an overwhelming feeling of guilt. The trip is going to be expensive. I’m leaving my family for over a month. To achieve what exactly? Explore the world, sure, but how can this help me heal my cancer?